


Sad Happy

by grilledtrees



Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: A Little Angst... As a Treat, Angst, Bisexual Shawn Spencer, Character Study, Gen, How Do I Tag, I don't know, Kinda, Shawn Spencer Whump, Short, Whump, character exploration, i think, imposter syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:01:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25371289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grilledtrees/pseuds/grilledtrees
Summary: Shawn's always been good at being what others wanted.
Relationships: Burton "Gus" Guster & Shawn Spencer, Carlton Lassiter & Shawn Spencer, Henry Spencer & Shawn Spencer, Juliet O'Hara & Shawn Spencer, Shawn Spencer & Karen Vick
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	Sad Happy

**Author's Note:**

> ive been rewatching this show after finishing it back in like 2018? it was a big comfort show. never wrote a fic for it tho i was too scared to do it injustice. hope i do it justice a little. :) also i have no fucking clue how to tag and i dont even know if this counts as a whump. i just wanted to explore Shawn and his upbeat character that breaks down sometimes.
> 
> sorry if you read this and it isnt what you expect/like

Shawn has always been observant. It's the way Henry trained him, for lack of a better word. So he observed what others wanted and needed from him and he became that. For Gus, he was a best friend who he could count on when it really counted. For Juliet, he became a friend that flirted with her. For the Chief, he became a psychic. For Carlton, well, that one is the one where Shawn didn't know what to become. So he became a sort-of-friend-but-mostly-antagonizer-and-sometimes-also-flirted-with. The only exception to this was his dad, Henry. For Henry, he became what Henry didn't want. A rebel. Maybe that's all he could become for his dad. 

And it wasn't like Shawn _didn't_ care about his friends. He did, God, he would die for them. It was more of a guard. Protect how he really feels with jokes and laughter. Gus, he supposes, is the only one to know the real Shawn. To see the cracks under the facade he's been playing at. But if Shawn says he's fine, Gus will accept it with a hesitant nod. Because if Gus insisted, Shawn's smile would only widen. The jokes would only increase. 

Of course, this territory came with knowing he was a fraud and if they all found out, they'd get rid of him. And for the first time in a long time, he was afraid of that. This was his home. These were his friends and this was his job. So he had no choice but to keep playing along. Even if it meant losing something akin to respect in the process. _I mean,_ Shawn thinks, _it's all worth it. I get to make obscure 80's references to people who get it._

The thought does little to actually comfort him as he waits outside the Psych building. Chief Vick had called him earlier in to consult on a case. In all honesty, if he goes, Shawn knows he won't be able to put up a front. He needs the day off. But if he doesn't go, they'll question it. 

So here he is, weighing the pros and cons. Being observant of anyone else's needs before his own. 

He almost wants to cry and break his mask. But instead, he heads to the station because they all matter to him. 


End file.
